


Can’t Find My Voice In My Dreams

by siderealSandman



Series: Putting the Tri in Triad [3]
Category: Digimon - All Media Types
Genre: Datamon is a Bastard Man, Domestic Fluff, F/M, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Nightmares, Post-Canon, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, T+ Rating, Taiora Focus
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-29
Updated: 2020-08-29
Packaged: 2021-03-07 01:14:58
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,947
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26178586
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/siderealSandman/pseuds/siderealSandman
Summary: Nobody walks off being kidnapped and years after Etamon's pyramid, Taichi wakes up to find Sora missing from his side
Relationships: Ishida Yamato | Matt Ishida/Takenouchi Sora, Ishida Yamato | Matt Ishida/Takenouchi Sora/Yagami Taichi | Tai Kamiya, Ishida Yamato | Matt Ishida/Yagami Taichi | Tai Kamiya, Takenouchi Sora/Yagami Taichi | Tai Kamiya
Series: Putting the Tri in Triad [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1896460
Comments: 6
Kudos: 42





	Can’t Find My Voice In My Dreams

**Author's Note:**

> Title from Maybe IDK by Jon Bellion which inspired the first part of this fic

Taichi could tell something was wrong when he woke to only one body pressed against his side, a chill at his back, and light spilling under the crack in the door separating their bedroom from the main living area. 

Blinking, he glanced down at Yamato, his blonde hair fanned on the pillow as his bare chest rose and fell. Even after waking up next to Yamato for months, Taichi still wasn’t used to seeing Yamato like this; uncoiled, unguarded, and completely relaxed in his arms as they snuggled under the heavy quilt Takeru had snagged cheap for them from someone moving out of the country. Even on cold winter nights the chill that seeped through the single-paned windows didn’t seem to touch them; harsh, uncaring reality repelled at the edge of their bed. 

Even winter knew better than to disturb what Sora liked to call their never ending slumber party. 

He lay there for a moment, breathing in the smell of his shampoo in Yamato’s hair until the flickering lights of the television caught his eye. His theory about Sora nipping off to the bathroom seemed to be shot down as he could faintly hear jumbled commentary through the sliding door. Glancing at his phone, he wrinkled his nose as 4:13 stared back at him. Dawn was still a few hours away; he had hoped to catch a few more hours of sleep before dragging Yamato out of bed and subjecting him to their morning run. 

After a moment’s hesitation, he carefully stole Sora’s pillow from behind him, shifting it between him and Yamato. He fussed for a moment after Taichi pulled away, grabbing on to the pillow in his sleep and tugging it close with a contented sigh as Taichi carefully slid out of the futon, instantly regretting his decision to expose himself to the cold morning air. Moving quickly and quietly, he ruffled through their pile of discarded clothes for his shorts, tugging on Yamato’s shirt by accident and feeling the material stretch tight across his shoulders and chest. Bare feet carefully padding across the floor, he opened the door as quietly as he could, closing it before the light could wake Yamato. 

The flickering light of the television spilled across the living room, illuminating their sparsely furnished home decorated with bits and pieces of their abandoned childhood bedrooms. Sora sat on the sofa he had spent an entire afternoon figuring out how to put together, legs tucked under a blanket and swaddled in the shirt he wore the day before. The flickering lights cast dark shadows on her face, her hair tousled and messy from sleep. She looked younger and smaller than she had in years, and something signaled that something was wrong. 

“Who’s playing?” Taichi asked, drawing Sora’s attention away from the television for the first time. She turned her head away as he dropped onto the couch next to her, wiping her eyes with his sleeve as he scooted under the blanket next to her. 

“Uruguay and Mexico,” Sora said, voice cracking a little as she leaned into his hug, head resting on his shoulder as he wrapped his arm around her waist. “Think it’s from a few years ago...you know how they re-run old matches to fill air time.” 

“Mm,” Taichi murmured, hand slipping under the hem of her shirt to rest against the small of her back. She let out a small sigh as his fingers brushed against her skin, burying herself deeper into his side as her glassy eyes stared dispassionately at the match on the screen. “Is it that bad?” 

Sora chuckled. “Sorry...did I wake you?” 

“Wanted to see where my right-side heater ran off to,” Taichi said, wincing as a goal shot hooked wildly left. “I’m spoiled rotten now; I need both of you to fall asleep.” 

“Sorry,” Sora said. “I’ll be back in a minute...go lie down with Yamato.” 

“In a minute,” Taichi echoed, chin resting on the top of her head. “...you don’t have to talk about it if you don’t want to.” 

Sora said nothing for a moment, fingers tracing the patch of skin where Yamato’s shirt rode up on his waistband. “...it’s stupid. Just a bad dream…” 

_ Oh.  _

Taichi didn’t remember a time when he didn’t have bad dreams; something about running for his life from evil god-like monsters and trying to stop his hometown from getting evaporated in nuclear fire might have done it. Sharing a room with his sister, he had been intimately aware of the monsters that kept her up at night; the dark thoughts and almost-deaths that wouldn’t let her go. 

It seemed that none of them walked away unscathed. 

“Bad like scary or bad like the dream had bad production value?” Taichi asked, earning a reluctant chuckle from Sora. “Did the special effects suck?” 

“The plot was a little hard to follow,” Sora sighed, folding around him fully and wriggling into his lap. The game behind her was forgotten as she wrapped her arms around his shoulders, fingers running through his messy hair and grazing his scalp in soothing scratching patterns. “...do you remember Datamon?” 

Taichi’s heart turned to ice as Uruguay scored their first goal, freezing underneath Sora as her fingertips grazed the back of his neck. That was a nightmare that had sunk its teeth into him as a boy and never let go. That was where he went in his darkest moments; kneeling on the sandy floor of Etamon’s pyramid, powerless, afraid, and weak. Unable to move as Sora was dragged away from him; a failed leader and a failed friend. 

And the price of his failure was still being paid. 

“When I dream of it...I don’t remember it the same way,” Sora mumbled, twirling her fingers in his hair. “It’s you...or Yamato...or Biyomon or my mom...and I’m watching Datamon take them away from me...and I can’t do anything to stop them.” 

Taichi wasn’t entirely sure if his heart was still beating; the cheering of the Mexican fans on the television seemed almost mocking as Sora rambled on. “And I just...watch you go,” Sora said, voice thick as she swallowed. “And I’m-”

“Powerless…” Taichi whispered, tensing as she leaned back, looking down at him with wide, curious eyes. “You’re scared that you’re never going to see them again...and that they’re going to get hurt because you couldn’t help. That you’re too...weak and cowardly and-” 

“Tai.” 

“ _ Stupid _ and...and…” Taichi trailed off as Sora’s hands cupped the sides of his face, thumbs brushing the tears bubbling in the corners of his eyes. “Crap...I-I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to-” 

“Shh,” Sora murmured, bumping her forehead against his. “It’s not your fault.” 

“Whose  _ is  _ it then?” Taichi mumbled, shaking his head. “If I had-” 

“Taichi,” Sora said softly, tilting his head up to look at her directly. “We were kids...we were just kids.” 

Haloed in the light of the television, he had to wonder what had possessed her to love him; how she had come to forgive something he couldn’t even forgive himself. 

“I don’t...I’ve never blamed you for that,” Sora said, brushing her lips chastely against his. “That’s just where all my Digital World baggage gets dropped, I guess. All that...fear of losing people I love comes to a head there. At Etamon’s Pyramid. And it’s just…” 

Sora trailed off with a sigh. “...it’s just frustrating to keep having to go back. I thought...I thought by now we’d be past it.” 

“Yeah…” Taichi murmured, tracing patterns under the back of her shirt. “I guess we all did…” 

They drifted into a comfortable silence, content to just sit wrapped up in each other while a struggle from the past played out on the television in front of them. He didn’t know if he would ever be at peace with the scared little boy that he once was; he didn’t know how to forgive someone who nearly got Sora killed and drove Yamato off. So many bad decisions could have gotten his friends, his family, killed. 

And maybe the nightmares wouldn’t stop until he did. 

* * *

The sound of sizzling bacon woke Taichi the next morning. 

The cold winter sun was high in the sky already as his eyes fluttered open, seeing Sora napping peacefully in his arms while Yamato carefully fished the bacon out of the frying pan. He wiped his hands on his apron, glancing over at the couch with a small smile as he realized Taichi was awake. 

“What-” Taichi stopped as Yamato held a finger to his lips, quietly padding over and tugging the quilt over Sora’s sleeping form. 

“You’re gonna stretch my shirt out if you keep wearing it,” Yamato whispered, crouching down next to the couch and gently tousling Taichi’s hair. “Nightmare?” 

Taichi nodded, careful not to wake Sora as she shifted in his arms. “Does this happen often?” Taichi asked. 

“I keep forgetting how new you are to overnights,” Yamato said, running his hand through Sora’s hair with a sad smile. “She gets like this every few months or so...she’s usually good after a cry and some pancakes but it looks like you handled it pretty well.” 

“As well as I could have,” Taichi said, kissing the top of Sora’s head. “Sorry, I should have brought her back to bed.” 

“S’cool,” Yamato shrugged, nuzzling his forehead against Taichi’s and stealing a brief kiss. “I could hear what you’re talking about, y’know.” 

“Oh…” Taichi said with a wince. “Should have figured you’d miss us.” 

“Always do,” Yamato said, chewing on the corner of his lip. “But I think you guys needed to do that; just the two of you. I know we all went through the same sort of stuff together but...some of it hits us differently.” 

Taichi nodded, the weight in his chest having nothing to do with the woman laying on it. 

“Just don’t go thinking you’re Superman,” Yamato said, fingers gripping the back of Taichi’s neck with a gentle squeeze. “You’re not responsible for saving the world anymore.” 

He opened his mouth to argue but Yamato seemed to see it coming and gave Taichi’s mouth something better to do, kissing him hard enough to make arguing impossible. Taichi let out a frustrated sigh that disappeared into Yamato’s mouth, hand threading through blonde locks and tugging him in a little closer. He wanted to be like this forever, pressed between his best friends in the world they had created for themselves. 

It wasn’t until they broke apart that they realized they were being watched by a curious pair of brown eyes peeking out from under the comforter. 

“Don’t mind me,” Sora said with a sleepy smile, resting her chin on Taichi’s chest as she looked up at them. “Keep doing what you were doing.” 

“How long have you been awake?” Taichi asked, brushing the hair out of her eyes. 

“Long enough for the good stuff,” Sora said, giggling as Yamato’s hand disappeared under the comforter and snapped the waistband of her underwear against her hip. 

“Perv,” Yamato growled. 

“Stole my shirt too,” Taichi said, fingers digging into Sora’s side under his shirt. “I think we need to teach her a lesson.” 

Sora’s eyes flickered between them, catching the mischievous glint Yamato and Taichi shared. 

“What  _ kind  _ of lesson?” Sora asked, pushing herself up into Taichi’s lap as Yamato slid onto the couch behind her, hands sliding under her shirt and lips brushing the nape of her neck. 

“One that reminds you to stay in bed with your boyfriends,” Taichi growled, lunging with a kiss as the bacon quietly grew cold on the counter. 


End file.
